Yay for major II substitution. Really good resonance. Not a bad melody, but a little cliche in a few parts. The chords kept it interesting, though.
Probably a lot of the reason the melody seemed cliche was due to the fact that this is an original rendition (if THAT ain't an oxymoron) of a Legend of Zelda melody, in which case, the melody would have to be expressed or implied at some point in the piece as sort of a signature.
Besideswhich, the piece was intended to relay an emotional moment and not so much be a grande classical score. That's just the way I compose.
Thanks for the review.
Really liked it. Great use of the whole minor/major 3rd confliction. I like the modal qualities a lot. Most composers seem to be afraid of these kind of things, and this sounds really good. The top line gets a little monotonous, and there aren't as much dynamics as there maybe should be. Are you playing this, or is it midi? Anyway, this is one of the few pieces that I've given a 5 on.
Thanks very much. This is actually a midi bro! sounds great dosen't it. if you put the concert piano on and get reverb just right you almost can't tell the difference. Thanks for the comment.
If you're looking for a composer to imitate, just don't use Mozart. The melodies were Mozartian, which means they sound like melodies that Mozart ripped off of previous composers.
Your chord inversions are all wrong. Mozart was very careful about writing the proper bass note and not doubling the 3rd. I also heard a few obvious tritones, which Mozart also worked to disguise. I heard quite a few 2nd inversion chords that don't fit whether you are directly imitating Mozart or just common practice era in general. There were some cadences where Mozart or any other common practice composer would've dropped down the octave, especially because these particular cadences are conclusive and use simple parallel octaves, which, again, Mozart would've avoided. Also, speaking of cadences, instead of using inconclusive cadences, you just used badly voiced conclusive cadences. Bottom line, if you're going to purposefully write strictly to common practice theory ala Mozart, know the rules and FOLLOW THEM. Mozart may have been a mediocre composer, but he is in theory the composer who follows tonal rules the best.
The melodies didn't have any originality or voice. Obviously, this is partly due to imitation of an imitator. Even still, there was a certain personality that was lacking. It's almost as if you created a template of Mozart motifs and stuck them together. The main theme is bland and forgettable. After it plays this once in a while, it falls into rambling segments of patchy melody made up of German style suspension-resolve motifs and typical use of secondary dominant melody.
I hated, hated, hated this piece. It is completely unoriginal, even on a Mozart standard. My suggestion to you is to wait until you come up with a good, heartfelt, at least slightly original melody or motif before you write something. Also, don't write a clearly common practice piece if you can't write the voices correctly. It's much better to write a piece that breaks rules and sounds good rather than write a piece that follows all the rules and sounds formulaic.
I respect fellow composers. It's difficult when people don't care about music that I write, or criticize it, but taking this criticism and using it is necessary. You sound young, judging by your music. To this end, your biggest goal throughout your musical development should be developing your own voice. I'd say that if you're going to write stuff like this, unless it's perfect, consider it practice in theory, and don't submit it. Look forward to hearing more original work.
*sighs* im 24..
I just reviewed your Mozart piece... this is better. Again, the voicing is still off. A lot of the time, I think there isn't strong enough of a bass. What was mostly lacking in this piece was resonance. The movement of the bass in the piano was awkward. It wasn't too bad, the chords were fine. In fact, you had a lot of good original chord progression throughout the piece, exhibited in both the accompanying chords and the melody. A few were misplaced or distant sounding, but it's better to be adventurous than formulaic in virtually any case. The problem was that the bass was too high the whole piece and there wasn't a lot of conclusiveness. The lack of conclusiveness wasn't bad, but the piece feels too long without it. I like how the melody avoids easy suss tones and cadences, since it's unpredictable and keeps me listening, but it needs a break somewhere. You also need to establish a primary motif or theme. I find that this is often the most important part in pieces that are primarily chordal homophony. It doesn't even have to be real complicated; in fact, it's best if it isn't. Coming out of a really complex section and breaking with a repeated conclusive motif works really well.
Anyway, it's good except for the voicing. I really like how you're developing your melodic voice.
ya you're right - but that's the greatnes of music making - there is always room for improvement - and you can never please everyone, right?
Also I made this on a laptop - even with regular speakers hooked up - I won't hear as much bass as you will. There is also a thing as too much resonance - this piece is fine resonance-wise to my ears and that's all that counts ;)
thanks for the review, El-Scotto1
This has a relatively unique sound for a lot of stuff in the classical genre. It has some minimalist qualities, which apparently come from your trance music. It's good.
The progression you used really sucked, to be truthful.
The melody was very good, though. Really awesome melody, though you tried to do a secondary dominant at one point and it didn't work with the chords. You could make it work, but maybe have the chords sound before the melody note. The ending was a bit weird, too. Maybe you should have used a more consonant 7th chord?
The chords seem to suit this style of music, though the chords are really, really basic and simple, no other progession worked at the time when i composed it. I'll take on board what you've said, and i'll try to make the song better :)
Thanks for the comment,
Very good for your first piece. First, it's obviously pretty short. For figuring out a melody, look at the pitch set of what you consider to be the main notes that stick out. For extending the melody, these notes in different combinations, rhythms, and modalities could provide the framework for extending the piece. The chords are good and aren't completely predictable.
Second, lose the shitty drum beat. It isn't needed and doesn't add anything. You can create rhythm and counterpoint at the same time if you put the "beat" in the middle or lower parts with an ostinato.
Anyway, keep writing, you'll get much better!
Thank for the review...I thought the drums where a nice touch but I will think twice next time Thanks:D
Could use a bit more dynamic and rhythmic progression, and the melodic phasing at around 1:50 was kind of rough, but it's good. Apparently some of the idiots below didn't notice that the melody changed throughout the whole piece. Oh well, I suppose minimalism is an acquired taste.
now listen to "symhpony of darkness" which is the complete version of this song :P
thanks for the review!
Your username sure matches your music. You don't see music that's this daring sounding on NG too often, and it's very good. I couldn't exactly determine the modal center, but did you use the Lydian mode? If so, very clever. I definitely heard some whole tone in there. Very nice with the minor 9ths at 3:40 and 4:06. Are you familiar with Copland's Piano Variations? If not, buy the sheet music. You'd identify with it.
Yep - boiled down, it's variations in F lydian and E lydian throughout, sometimes sequentially, and sometimes simultaneously. It's always been my favorite mode, and I think this piece helps accentuate both the pretty and the ugly possibilities with it.
I am very familiar with Copland's Piano Variations - I wrote this shortly after studying them briefly in college. He is cool.
Keep trying. You'll get it eventually. I wouldn't even recommend posting your beginning pieces here. They should probably more be considered learning experiences. I just posted my 6th or 7th piece here, but you'll never see my first. Though my 2nd is posted because I like the melody.
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